Several times since my last blog post I have tried to find a suitable time to get back to my regular posting. These last 2.5 months have been overwhelming, but in a good way.
For example, I finished my 75 hard, although kind of pathetically (more on that in another post). Otherwise, my time has been consumed with outings, friends and an existential crisis sprinkled in the mix.
You know…for flavor.
Although I have been feeling some guilt in my silence, I cannot deny that it was necessary. As I wrote previously, there were various instances where that itch to write would lead me to opening my Surface Pro and start typing aimlessly. Yet, I never was satisfied with anything I wrote.
It was sad to think about but I wasn’t writing from a pure love for life and the things of God anymore. At least not in those moments of guilt. I just wanted to put out something. Anything!
Now, as I let my fingers dash between the keys on my computer, I’m happy to report I am in a much better headspace. Not because life stopped life-ing, but because I was able to take this time to replenish my heart with little spoonfuls of God’s goodness.
I know that sounds corny.
Okay, it is corny. But still accurate!
For the first time in a while, I was able to breath and enjoy the small, almost mundane, aspects of being a human. To be more specific, I have become more aware of my life.
Like the way I sleep with one leg off the bed and the other hooked at a 90 degree angle. Or my indescribable need to create that goes beyond convention or convenience. And the way that creativity is almost a daily need akin to food. Heck! Even the obnoxiously blaring honk of my car driver’s seat that drags every time I adjust my seat forward or backwards (It costs over $1,000. I refuse to get it fixed) has become endearing to me.
It’s as if I have become very much aware of how unaware I have been.
Subtle sounds, familiar smells, and soft details all add to the daily chapters of my life. And so my writing has changed in the process. I feel that now, I can better weave my blog writings into my life in a way that is natural. My absence has provided me with plenty of reflections, stories, and journal entries I am excited to share with you all moving forward.
I have so much I’ve been waiting to write here, but I want to be wise and not burn myself out again. So I want to try to keep entries to once a week before I get back in the swing of things. It’s been a while, but I’m glad to be back.
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