What do I do with disappointment?

What the heck do I do with disappointment?

When I try to remember how I have handled it in the past, I find myself drawing a blank. Rather than doing anything with my disappointment, I would just let it disintegrate over time. Instead of doing something with my hurt, I would run from it and create barriers to ensure my safety.

I don’t think I ever learned what to do with disappointment. Of course, that is no fault of anyone, not even me. It is simply not something any of us place on our checklist of “things I want to learn for the future”. In fact, I would argue that we spend so much time trying to avoid disappointment, we rarely get the opportunity to exercise navigating it.

*Proceeds to raise my hand*

“Guilty”

Hopes, Dreams and Perception

It is my firm belief that hopes and dreams are the life support for humans (I know God is but let me make my point). Our dreams give us purpose, desire, and vision while our hopes give us a confidence that these dreams could actually become our reality.

Furthermore, our hopes and dreams are not central to us. They extend to the people and world around us. No matter the relationship, there is always a hope that we place in them and a dream that they fit in. If it’s a lover we place hope in the way they will treat us and create a dream in our head of what life will be with them. If it’s a friend, we put hope in how they will show up for us in our daily lives. We put our trust in these hopes.

So, what do you do with that perception of others when the reality of who they are shatters the hopes you placed in them?

What do you do with the broken idea of who they are or (even worse) the possible lie of your past experiences? How do you handle the pile of confusion and lies that intermingle between what you thought was true and what might have been your imagination?

That is the pain of disappointment.

It replays your hopes and your realities concurrently in your head and forces you to sort them out. It tears our core beliefs, dreams, and hopes apart with our reality and then forces us to remake a new version of what we held so dear. Yet, even in the repair process, it reminds you of “how things should have been”.

How in the world am I meant to fight that?!

So what do I do?

Regardless of where the disappointment lies, the results of the pain are the same.

Shattered hopes

Destroyed dreams

Broken perception

So, to my original question: What do I do with dissapointment?

I can’t discard it because everytime I try, the memories of how things were “supposed to be” come flooding back to me.

I can’t run from it as I have found disappointment to be more haunting than any spooky apparition. It lingers in my mind and scares me in my quietest moments.

I can’t silence it seeing that it’s louder than the “positive thinking” I speak to myself.

Can anyone give me a solution?!

Only one thing to do

Unfortunately, the only recourse I have been given is, by itself, also disappointing.

I may just have to sit with it.

Is it possible, that all I can do is allow disappointment to have its way with me?

The other solution is giving that disappointment to God (classic christian response).

But can I be honest?

Giving something to God does not automatically make the emotions go away. I don’t feel happier or lighter after giving God my disappointment. When I lay down, the thoughts, confusion, and betrayal still play in my mind. I know it may heal over time as I have learned that God’s processes often happen overtime rather than immediately.

So in the process I must submit to time and allow God to do something with that disappointment. After all, there is nothing I can do with it.

This isn’t an advice article or an encouraging message. I am still in the midst of having to readjust to my reality versus my expectations. What I have written seems to be my only solution.

If you have any ideas, please tell me.

What do I do with this disappointment?

Comment below if you enjoyed the article and/or want to leave some advice for our little community. Every comment is appreciated, and I am so grateful for your engagement on this little corner of the internet.