Singleness was God’s gift to me

This morning I found myself journaling about when I was single and how unwelcome I felt in many christian spaces. How I had to learn through the Word about the joy of singleness as the church put so much emphasis on marriage.

I remember losing friends as soon as they got into a relationship, as if it was understood that friends were just placeholders until the right spouse was found. Respect was given to the married women while the single ones were left with all the questions and the criticisms.

Are you dating? How could a pretty girl like you not be married yet? You need to start putting yourself out there. Remember, men dont don’t like when, yada yada yada. But here’s the truth.

Singleness was God’s gift to me.

I had fun when I was single. I had so many adventures while I was single. I built so many wonderful relationships while being single. I’ve grown so much in my relationship with God while being single.

My singleness was a gift, not a season to be resented. My life is joyful and fulfilling because I choose to live a joyful and fulfilling life instead of waiting on someone else to make that happen.

Furthermore, I’m going to have fun being married! Not because I “finally” have a man but because I have learned to find joy outside of a man. Therefore, my fiancee only adds to that joy but he never created it.

My life didn’t begin when I met my fiancee, and I’m not entering some “superior calling” when I become a wife. Married women are not superior nor should they be elevated above single women.

I have always been able to experience a great and unconditional love in Christ that even a husband cannot match. I will always remember how christian circles and married folk treated singleness, and me, as a result. I pray I never fall into that same mindset no matter how long I’m married.

The single life is the good life and the married life is the good life. You DON’T need to be a wife or mother in order to find fulfillment as a Christian woman. True fulfillment is in God alone. Last time I checked the Bible says the whole duty of man is to fear God and obey his commandments (Ecclesiastes 12:13), not get a spouse. Singleness should still be respected and enjoyed for the gift it is.