One of the hardest transitions to adulthood was realizing how immature adults really are.

Like many children, I used to look up to adults as these all knowing beings that looked out for me. I was blessed to have wonderful parents who protected me from many adults who may have destroyed that naive trust. So I spent my younger years as a fairly well-behaved and obedient child. Of course I had my little conflicts but for the most part, I had no problem with obeying these authority figures.

Adults were smart, mature, and understanding. They could do so many cool things that my lack of experience did not allow me to understand.

Childish Adults are Weird

What an idiot I was.

It is one thing to see childish behavior from a child. It is expected. But seeing a 40 year old gossiping like a highschooler is so…weird!

The amount of grown men and women who are mentally stuck in their teenage years but with the life expereince of a 50 year old is astounding.

I see it everywhere!

  • At Work
  • At Church
  • Online
  • At School

They slink around causing division, asking leading questions instead of confronting a problem. Some of them never came out of their victim mindset and see anyone who doesn’t agree with them as “haters”. I’ve seen literal grandmothers in the work place berate the younger co workers for caring about how they look! Do you know what it’s like being mentored by a jealous senior? It’s weird.

That is the only word I can think of: weird.

What makes it so weird is that, at least for me, this behavior was not what I expected from my other adult peers. This is classic “mean girl” behavior from both men and women. The amount of times I have wanted to respond to an adult with “are we grown or not” is astounding.

Petty Christian Adults

Furthermore, where I live, the majority of the adults are Christian. So it is frustrating when you can see blatant unkind, petty, and plain ugly behavior between people who claim to serve such a loving and kind God.

Now, don’t get me wrong, we all have our vices and I am not saying these people are not christians. The frustration is in their boldness in both their faith and their ugliness. The way they will blanket the most hateful words with “bless their heart” and “who are we to judge” as if they didn’t spend the past 30 minutes throwing people under the bus.

They use the same mouth to praise God on Sunday and then gossip, shun, and belittle their peers as if we are not all supposed to be on the same team!

Disappointed

Honestly, it’s disappointing.

It’s disappointing that I have to set boundaries with grown adults who never learned to communicate. Regularly I have to filter the words of PAPs (Passive Aggressive People) to determine if they are purposely ignoring me or just not able to hear me say hello…every morning.

It’s disappointing being the youngest one in a space full of adult bullies and being the only one standing up for myself.

And it’s disappointing when those same adults label you disrespectful, rude, and combative because they aren’t used to being challenged.

If I could turn back time I would tell my younger self not to waste her admiration.

Coping With The Reality of Adults

I learned more about fake friends in my 20s than I ever did in my teen years. I was fortunate enough to grow up with good adults. Adults who taught me how to live according to the Word of God and not pettiness.

I was raised by people who expected me to find a peaceful solution to problems and not to shy away from confrontation. The adults in my life had my best interest at heart, loved me, and showed me how to handle conflict.

Unfortunately, that is not the case for everyone and it’s showing in 40 year old moms with no emotional regulation and grandpas who think they can still run the street.

However, I have learned so much in my 20s because I was forced to go to God when dealing with these Adults. I learned how to love my enemy even when I did not want to. My longsuffering is being stretched daily. Many days I find myself going to the scriptures, especially Proverbs to learn what conflicts to engage and what to walk away from. I know when to confront and when to remove myself.

My goals shifted from a child wanting to impress and satisfy the adults in my life to making decisions that will give me peace with God.

I have learned that there is such a peace in knowing you made the right decision according to the Living Word. That doesn’t mean everyone likes me. Quite the opposite. And there is a freedom in coming to terms with that. Everyone has the right to like or dislike whoever they want and I will always respect that choice regardless of the reason.

There Are Still Wonderful Adults

I do not want to end this on a discouraging note. As a child I grouped all adults into one category which was naive of me. So it would also be naive of me to do the same thing now.

As much as I have meet childish adults, I have also meet wonderful, kind, loving, and God fearing men and women. Older people who seek to follow the instructions in Titus 2 by teaching the younger generation the Word of God and His statutes. I know a plethora of men and women at my church and in my community who are always ready with a word of encouragement.

The Lord has allowed me to meet so many beautiful, courageous, and spirit filled men and women of God who deeply love Jesus with all of their heart. Even in their imperfection, their hearts are genuine.

These are the adults I had growing up and these are the adults I continue to look up to. To all of the adults and elders like this in my life: Thank you so much.

My hope is to become like the amazing adults that I have been able to experience. I won’t let my disillusionment turn into bitterness. Instead, I will continue to operate according to God’s Word and pray that whether I have to deal with a childish adult or a wise adult, my eyes will stay fixed on my constant God.

With Love,

The Road Writer

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