The Day I Learn How to Cornrow...There Will Be Signs

My personal natural hair journey started in middle school when, to my mother’s disappointment, I wanted to try to do my hair on my own. Throughout the years I was able to increase my independence as a natural hair stylist. Twists, Braids, box braids, Marley twists, flexi-rods, free-form, you name it! If you’ve seen it, I have tried it.

However, the one styling method that I cannot grasp is the elussive cornrow.

Every time I see a cute hair style and see that cornrows are involved I feel a sense of failure rise up in me.

Cornrows haunt my dreams. They mock me from my hair Pinterest boards. They taunt me with each attempt I fail. And like a child, I go back to my mother so that she may summon the knowledge of our ancestors to do my hair.

But look out! I am learning, and when I set my mind to do something, I’m going to do it. And once I learn how to cornrow my entire identity will change.

Do not be shocked when I don’t respond to your greeting as I walk by with my 24 inch buss down lemonade braids done by yours truly. I will no longer be who you once knew. I am now a part of the black girl 1%. My status has risen from commoner to royalty.

My parents will refer to me as queen daughter as I am now superior to their other spawn.

My Mazda will be transformed into a Mercedes G-Wagon. My New Balances will become Balenciaga. I cannot continue to live in the suburbs once I am an official cornrow-er. Instead, a home that befits someone of my status could only be a high-rise condo overlooking the crystal blue Miami beach waters.

I write this as a warning to everyone I know. You may not know when I have learned to cornrow, but just know, there will be signs.

With Love,