When I think about who I want to be 5 years from now, being a wise woman is on the top of my list. I know I will never obtain all the wisdom that God has for me in those few years, but I hope to have developed the foundations that I can build upon.
What is becoming increasingly apparent is what holds me back from being this wise woman is my reliance on my emotions in decision making.
When taking a personality test with my family we were labeled as an I or an F: A Thinker or a Feeler. You can probably guess which one I was:
98% feeler
My plight doesn’t end there. On top of being a feeler, I also feel my emotions in extremes.
Rather than being happy, I’m elated.
Rather than sad, I feel depressed.
Rather than disappointed, I’m devestated.
Worst of all, no amount of logic or talking can seem to take me out of these extreme feelings. I’ll read the Word, talk to a friend, pray, and do everything else I am instructed to do. Sometimes it works; but God help me when it doesn’t.
My extremes leave me constantly struggling to find a sense of normalcy. My decisions and behavior can switch from joyful to anxious to melancholic in a matter of a few hours depending on how the situation makes me feel.
And that’s the other piece of this messed up puzzle. I rely on my emotions and my emotions rely on my circumstances. No consistency.
As the bible puts it, a house built on sand.
I pray that one day, I can gain a better grasp on my feelings. As I believe Priscilla Shirer said in a sermon:
“All feelings can do is feel.”
If I want to be a wise woman, I have to learn how to regulate my emotions, so they do not influence my behavior, actions, relationships, and this amazing life I get to experience.
With Love,
The Road Writer
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